hello again

lama gila tak tulis blog.. kadang2 terasa diri ini hanyut dibawa arus yg entah kemana..

there r times when i wish i could turn back time to undo all my mistakes, and jadi seorang yg betul2 baik. atau mungkin juga lebih dekat kepadaNya.

Zaman sekarang, semua orang kejarkan wang ringgit, semua berkejaran status, dan semua berkejaran ilmu dunia. boleh kira dengan jari berapa orang sangat yang kejarkan dunia akhirat, termasuklah diri saya yang lemah ni.

Saya terlalu mengejarkan kemewahan yang sampai ke hari ini saya tak dapat. Saya ingin dikelilingi kumpulan2 elite tapi saya lupa dimataNya, kami semua sama. Tiada beza sama ada miskin atau kaya, cantik atau buruk, in the end, semuanya akan dihakimi di akhirat kelak.

Siapa yg perlu dipersalahkan? Ibu bapa yang kurang memberi didikan agama atau diri sendiri yg tak tahu diri? Dalam hal2 begini, sebenarnya tak patut nak salahkan sesiapa. Kita patut tahu diri sendiri dan tindakan menuding jari tu adalah sangat tidak baik.

tapi apakan daya, sebagai manusia biasa, saya mengaku saya sering menuding jari dan tidak nampak kesalahan sendiri.

ok lah, jom masuk ke topic lain.. kadang2 bila tengok gambar2 dulu2, rindunya nak kembali ke zaman dulu. tak kira la zaman sekolah rendah mahupun menengah, zaman sebelum masuk Uitm, zaman dah masuk UiTM tapi dengan batch sendiri, sampai la zaman baru2 ni yg telah menyedarkan saya yang saya telah jauh ketinggalan.

Saya tak pernah menyesal dengan apa yg terjadi, sebaliknya saya bersyukur because everything happens for a reason. i may have been bad in studies, but i get to know all the wonderful people all around the country. junior2 yang sangat hormatkan saya walaupun ada setengahnya yg tidak tahu apa perkataan hormat dalam hidup mereka. tapi tak boleh nak salahkan juga kerana mungkin mereka dibesarkan dengan cara begitu.

saya selalu pegang kata2 PAK LIN, "kutiey, tak semua orang yg kita suka, suka kita, and tak semua orang yang kita tak suka, tak suka kita"

dan setiap kali itu lah, bila saya nak mengutuk orang je, saya berfikir sejenak. ada lah jugak kadang2 saya terlepas, biasa la, mulut dah gatal kan?

hhahahhahahahahha... apa lagi bila berada dengan kawan2 yg betul2 satu kepala dengan saya.

ada je nak mengumpat itu lah ini lah.

Oh sebelum terlupa, setelah 8 tahun tak naik flight, baru2 ni saya ke medan bersama keluarga..

well, i had fun but towards the end tu, ade benda yg saya tak suka apabila berlaku..

kakak2 bergaduh dan membuatkan saya caught in the middle. yg sorang tu, rude n provoke, yang sorang tu pulak, calling names (bad name).. dua2 bagi saya salah. dua2 ego plak tu.

entah la, yang saya tak faham, kalau dengan boyfriend, biar la ape pun yg jadi, cepat je cakap sorry, dengan adik beradik yg talian darah takkan terputus ni?? entah lah, saya tak mampu nak cakap apa2 sbb saya ni adik..

anyway, lega skit dapat meluahkan sikit ape yg saya rasa dihati..

ada byk lagi, tapi arini sakit gigi n tak berdaya nak buat apa2..

till then -R.F.Prince

The isolation

i guess being a hero doesnt always stay that way..
rescuing one of the juniors really make me feel like i have done sumthin.. (at least)
3 am, i was suffocating n hell i couldnt breathe. felt like shit though..
dah lama sial tak sakit n i felt like dying for God sake. repent was the only thing on my mind..
*sighs*
went to the loo for about two times. stomach was all empty. threw it all out without leaving anything inside. felt the bitter urgghhh n it hurts so much.
woke up early, continued sleeping. woke up again, slept again, Saring made me eat the panadol n i havent been eating the whole day. Stomach was singing but the throat went nagging doesnt want anything to go thru it.
later that night, they took me to the clinic, it was so packed that we decided to go to hospital Alor Gajah. Pakguard plak tak kasi, stress betul laaaa... went back to the clinic, checked the temperature, and mine was 39.1 degree celcius. Doctor Sapura said that i should be dripped n no need to worry with the empty stomach because the water consists of sugar n vitamin n bla bla bla. that was my first time doing it, so i took my palm to cover my mouth. the nurse was laughing a bit n started saying things like "its ok, sikit je ni" i was embarassed.. OGD..
few hours later, we were sent to the rumah tamu. Peta and I reached there at 3 sumthin n we slept right away. When i woke up the next morning, i thought its 5 or 6 pm... my batt was flat and obviously i didnt know what time was it.. Damn it was only 10 am!!!!!!!!!!
Mcm bodo je kan. Quite an experience la.. Penat kot lepas tido tido, dulu i have always wanted to be sick not be able to go to class, but to feel the sickness i went thru recently, its better to go to class than stay in the room couldnt do anything. Helpless, Useless... ntah la..
Maybe this is a test from Allah for me to stay grateful. always be grateful for what he has given.
Oh, i was isolated for 16 hours at rumah tamu.. i repeat, ISOLATED... not QUARANTINED...
(according to Dato Mizan) *wink wink*

New dreams unfulfilled...

These are my latest dreams. I wish i can get these as soon as mama strikes the project.
i wish God would help us go through this hard times. Please no more hardship.
I am learning now from what i've learned last time. n it does feel good sumtimes to live in poverty but in the end, u get all the money in the world. That will only make u appreciate money.
Like how u gonna spend them and not just buy things that r necessary. Sharing with others so that u'll get more.
i've planned everything over the last semester break on what im gonna do with the money (if i get, INSYAALLAH)
Am praying hard now, i know it sounds unfair because this is the only time i seek for HIS help, but at least, i think of HIM and ask from one n only LORD i trust.
Hopefully fortune awaits me..

not just M.J, but also to F.H and A.H

on the right standing is abg hafiz....

baru2 ni aku start la pindah rumah, barang2 sgt la byk... altogether, ada la dalam 9 tan barang2 kitorg..
bayang la, first day pakai lorry 2 tan, tu dah buat 2 trip, so dah 4 tan, then dah maghrib, yg heran nye tempat tinggal baru aku tu, tak blh angkut barang after 6 pm, aku pon tak fhm kenapa.
so terpaksa ditangguh. the next day, ahad pon tak blh pindah, so kitorg lepak je kat rumah n went to hillpark as well, amik barang2 yg mana muat utk dlm kereta. penat weyh, aku smpai takde time nak lepak ngan bestfriends aku yg baru balik from aussie, rasanya kali ni paling sikit aku lepak ngan diorg.. *sighs* sorry guys! monday, 29th of June, we were told that abg hafiz just passed away. masa aku ikut zz balik kuantan, sempat la jumpa dia, tu pon dia dh tenat. he couldnt speak but he asked me
"tak skolah ke?"
aku mcm terharu sbb dia still ingat aku. sbb according to my grandma, dia dah tak kenal org, n whenever my grandma ckp ngan dia pon, he'll push my grandma n cakap,
"sape awok?"
well.. kesian tok mi, when i came the other day, she was crying. fyi, abg hafiz sakit sbb last time, he used to take drugs.. didnt blame him because everyone makes a mistake. ok, few years back, abg faiz (abg hafiz's elder brother) passed away too. same case, drugs..
bodoh punye dadah.. then kitorg pon bertolak la balik kuantan isnin pagi tu, unfortunately, kitorang tak sempat tgk dia for the last time. the minute we arrived, my grandma told us that dia dah selamat dikebumikan. takpe lah, janji selamat, n senang pengurusan jenazah dia, alhamdulillah takde sebarang kesulitan. Kitorang pon masuk bilik dia, n looked around. Semua jadi sebak n sayu je sbb, dlm bilik dia, penuh dengan gmbar2 kitorang. Tribute to everyone who was once important to him including my mom n my siblings. Abg hafiz dulu pernah jadi adik beradik kitorang because my mom pernah jaga dia dr baby smpai la umur 4 tahun kot.. n sebelum dia meninggal, dia bgtau tok mi
"kesian mama gee nak pindah, atek takde pon nak tolong.. atek sayang sangat kat mama gee"
mak aku terus menangis tak tahan sebak didada.. hurm.. dah settle semua including tahlil, kitorg pon balik k.L sbb the next day tu nak pindah2 barang jugak. Mmg penat tak pyah cakap la kan.
i was driving 30 km je, pastu suruh kak long drive the rest. kesian kak long pon ngantuk.
then few days later, yesterday morning, the father (Uncle Hassan) passed away too. katanya sblm dia pergi, dia peluk jacket abg hafiz n according to the son in law, ade this one night, dia mengigau, saying
"hafiz, tunggu papa, papa nak ikut hafiz"
sedih kan kisah hidup diorg? all men in the family died already...
Sekarang yg tinggal, my auntie, (my mom's eldest sister), kak fara n kak azera...
kesian sangat kat diorg.. dah la my auntie is going through her hard times with her husband.. oh lupa nak ckp, my auntie dah divorced dgn my late uncle tu decades ago...
Al-Fatihah to Faizal Hafiz n Abu Hussan..

Goodbye happiness.. Hello sadness

A tough year for me.
We have to move out from the house by the end of this month.
*Sighs* i just hate the owner n i wish i could kill those two stuck up animals.
Well, where do we stay? What kind of place would we live in?
I cannot imagine a life out of this area, Im just so used to this area n I love this house.
This is obviously a test from God but its too heavy for me n my family.
How long do we have to go through this? I thought this year would be our year since we've been living this kind of life since few years back. But everything is just the same. well, to add the injury, it is indeed getting worst. No improvement, no nada!
Sometimes i wonder if this is the life that im gonna have to go thru till the end of my last breath.
I'm so tired n I'm starting to give up in life at such a young age.
Complaining is not the way to solve things i know, but i just need a place to tell just about how i feel right now.
.Pray for me.

Hackett London

Hackett this season brings out many designs to the community. Can be worn by youngsters and as well as the elders. Check out these few designs that actually captured me for a mo. I was stunned but not really surprised. It's Hackett..






This one can be worn for casual outing. It has different colours so that u can mix n match with ur other attire.










Tips : It doesnt mean if u're wearing a blue tshirt, u have to get everything blue. it depends on the outfit n play with colours.











Hackett provides more than just casual n formal attire. They also have swim wear for men who knows more than just Speedo. LOL!











This is my favourite! all the t-shirt is fantastic. Hackett provides cool tshirt to the fashionista who has taste for fashion. It's all bout the money!










This one can be worn for parties and of course to certain functions or cocktail party.









They also have style advisor. Have u ever wondered what should u wear for an occasion? suitable attire for the evening? Hackett gives u tips for that too. This one is for Formal Dinners.
As everyday dressing appears to be getting less and less formal it is nice to get dressed up once in a while. It is difficult to look sharper than in a neat fitting Dinner Jacket. I tend to stick to the classic single-button, peak lapelled variety, as favoured by the style icons of the 60s. Either a pleated front or Marcella dress-shirt should do the job, finished off with a black silk bow tie.self tied of course.





When it comes to weddings, I am often asked about how to spruce up the traditional look. After some thought I always come back to the same conclusion; our forefathers had it spot on. A sleek black morning coat: pastel coloured linen waistcoat; pressed black and grey striped trousers; highly polished black Oxfords; woven silk tie and a crisp white poplin shirt, fresh out of the packaging. The only thing you need to worry about is what flower to put in your button-hole.
(2nd day at the hotel?? perhaps)




Check out and click HERE

I went to watch this movie a few days back..
keluar 11th of june, tp aku tak tau plak usually it will come out one day before..
we watched the first showla kiranya..
i went to watch with Satek n Naim.
It was as funny as hell, disgusting as hell, n shocking as hell.
No wonder its called Drag Me To HELL..
One of the scene i couldnt forget is when the girl was trying to pack her things, tetiba je that old lady appeared. Naim was shouting out loud. kelakar gile dowh, i was laughing my lungs out.
Hahahahaha... Naim, naim..
Satek tutup mata, aku ada gak la terkejut n terjentat, tp not as bad as them. Kaki masing2 naik atas, ahahahahaha..
Well done Sam Raimi, it is one of the most interesting movie...
out of 5, i give 4 for this horror, humour movie

we might LOSE you B4-4-3, but we're trying our BEST now

I was told by my mom today that the owner of our apartment is asking for the money already..
we have a week left to find the money.. if not, we're so going to be thrown n jadi beggars.. wah malu, takut, sedih, smua ada.. 2 months tak byar sewa rumah..
smua sbb keparat yg tipu mak aku.. my mom kena tipu 20k plus dari org kastam.. dh la she was the middle person, so automatically, she has to ganti the money to the first party while the third party, senang2 je enjoy dgn duit tu. *sighs*
kesian mama, i never thought she would have to go through all these. nasib la cuti ni im spending most of my time with her. keluar pon blh kira ngan jari.
well, a few people offered their money such as amri a.k.a piller, how thoughtful, and then my cousin, but i think i wont accept piller's help, i mean, no one would ever do this to a new friend, but he's just there. i'm so thankful that God sent a friend like him. this is the type of friend that will always be on my list. tq piller, but i cant accept because, i dont want to ruin the friendship because of money.
tah bila la my mom would get the payment, n i dont think if he gives me the money, when would i be available to return back the money. so, i just wont take the risk to lose a friend like him.
Anyhoo, a few others just ignore at times like this.. *sighs*
its beyond expectation. im puzzled, n wordless.
to Zz, thanks for calling all the way from aussie n letting me know that u're a family. u're willing to help n i appreciate that a lot. when mama hit the project, i promise u we'll double the payment.
well, what a life.. challenges n obstacles, we're almost give up..
at least, that's what i thought.
sorry for not writing all this while, many things happened n i just dont have the mood to write.. till then

yes!!! dapat beat kau becker!

48 perkataan

Speedtest

Theories used by Malaysian drivers

Kalau korang nak tau, bas ni suka memakai theory "aku sebuah jet".. Kalau perasan, kat highway skrg, bus lagi laju dari kereta.. myvi pon gerenti kalah. n cuba kalau dia lintas korang, memang confirm bergegar punye lah kereta korg. sbb tu la ade bas2 yg accident, pastu org2 tak bersalah yg jadi mangsa, tau la kau bosan kerja jd driver, tp kalau taknak, berenti je la kerja, jgn jadikan penumpang sbg mangsa, sian ade sparuh yg belum sempat bertaubat..














Kalau korang nak tau, benda alah yg dikagumi ramai ni pon boleh tahan jugak. Mereka menggunakan theory "aku menyerlah". Diorg slalu rasa yg diorg bleh bawak sesuka ati bila nak ketepi, ketengah. aku tau la kebanyakannya org tua n seriously aku pon kesian, tp kadang2 melampau betul. kalau hari hujan ke ape, aku fhm la, mmg aku bg laluan, tp ade skali tu, aku hampir dilanggar, tp aku yg kena marah. adoyai










Penunggang-penunggang berikut ni kebanyakannya budak2 la yang tgh nak seronok baru belajar sesuatu yg baru. Mereka ni pulak menggunakan theory "aku lemah" so takkan kereta or kenderaan lain main nak redah je aku. Sbb tu kalau perasan, diorg ni sangat la slumber nak melintas jalan.. tension kan? tak sayang nyawa btul..








whoaa... ni favourite aku. Mereka sering menggunakan theory "aku mister cool". Mentang2 la kereta diorg mahal so kalau org mcm kitorg ni langgar, tak mampu nak byar, so sesuka ati diorg je bila nak bawak laju, n bila nak bwk perlahan. kat highway, nak drive kat fast lane je, tp aku rase kancil lagi laju. kalau kat jalan biasa plak, bukan main lagi nak bawak laju, nak show off la konon kereta u laju dan sgt bermutu tinggi.. hurmm.. tak tau nak ckp ape dah









ni kenderaan yg paling aku menyampah kat malaysia. especially K.L punya taxi driver. Diorg ni pakai theory "aku public transportation". Sesuka hati je bila nak tukar lane, bila nak slow, bila nak laju, senang cerita sesuka kepala otak diorg la. Memang kadang2 tu tak beradab. Diorg pegang theory tu sbb mesti mereka fikir, "oh aku bawak penumpang, so menjadi tanggungjawab aku utk sampai ke destinasi dgn cepat, jadi kenderaan lain akan faham" mintak maaf la ye..
rules tetap rules.











hahahaha.. yang ni tak payah ckp la kan.. Diorg ni pegang theory "kereta lain ada break".
Suka suka ati bila nak masuk, cucuk and potong sana sini. tak payah ckp la kepada mereka yg buat bukan2. kebanyakan diorg pegang lebih dr satu theory. mereka juga pakai theory
"aku raja jalanan". Kira tu complete package la..








Yang ni? hehehe.. Pakai theory "aku gagah perkasa". Tak peduli ape yg terjadi
(mmg betul pon). Diorg bukan akan jadi ape2 pon, paling abis sakit belakang skit. Yang teruk, yang dilanggar la. tah la ape nak jadi dengan mereka ni. Tak sayang nyawa agaknya.

p/s: Ingat la org tersayang!!!
:)

Happy 24th Birthday Rekha

I know sometimes I cause you
Much pain and frustration
You and I have been through a lot
I thank God you're in for the duration

You've endured with patience
Even when I pushed against your will
I regret the pain I've caused you
And I carry it with me still

Even though we've been together
Through life's sorrow and pain
Somehow we've always managed
And we've always endured the strain

Always know that in my heart
You have a special place
I hope to see you soon
Happy 24th Birthday sister!

I LOVE YOU, ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

I was stung by wonderful bees (wonderful ke?)

Kat sini la tempat mereka berkumpul..
and aku pulak tido kat bawah drpd sarang diorg
(gmbar berikut ialah kat bumbung)

















Ni pulak lepas diorg kena sembur dengan api
oleh pihak bomba. Jahatkan aku..
Siapa suruh kacau aku. Tgk tu siap ada madu
lagi..

















Ni pulak hasil sarangnya yang terbakar.
Tp mmg aku salute la lebah2 ni. Cantik kot
creation diorang ni and sangat complex!
Nampak tak ade 2-3ekor yg tertonggeng kat
tengah2 tu? tu la yg sengat aku! aku letak kat situ
suruh mereka pose skit sbb dia berjaya menyengat
aku! sekarang aku tak blh gelak!

















Ni pulak kitorang letak kat bwah2 sabut kelapa.
Tempat pembakaran daun2 kering dan lain2.
Sorry bees, aku terpaksa. Aku bukan nak bunuh
kaum kerabat kau. Tp aku takut kaumengganggu
ketenteraman atuk aku. Sian dia, dah la tua.. Kang
kalau ko sengat dia, mcm mane? Dah la duduk sorang2

This bird symbolises my life when im with my dad. and im afraid of living this life forever.

..my grandpa..

Name : Abu samah bin Hussein

Age : 86 – 87 years old

Status : Married (second marriage, my grandma’s dead)

Job : Retiree

He stays alone. He has a car. He has a big compound. He has a nice, cosy house. But..... He has “no one”.

Condition :

Let me share this with you. Today, as i was looking at my grandpa, i feel scared. What if i end up not marrying anyone? What if i get to have a happy marriage but then my wife dies early? It came to me all of a sudden n it scares me oh so much. What if i wont have children. Who will be there to look after me? Who will be there to visit me every once in a while? It came in a rush that i’m afraid of getting old. I just turned 22 last april, but i think, time is running so fast and i wish i could stop it for a while to enjoy life. He always tells me how much he misses my grandma although he’s married to a younger politician wife. But his love towards my grandma never fades. He always asked me to stay a bit longer but i guess i couldn’t, not that i don’t want to, but i don’t know, i just couldn’t. Yeah, probably, that’s just my reasons. But the fact that my dad is be the one who should be looking after him. Not me. Im not trying to be mean here, but i’m not that close to him. I love him as a person, but there r times when he tells me a lot about my cousin. “he’s (my cousin) kind, he’s good, he’s clever” and im not his favourite. So why don’t you ask ur favourite grandson to look after you. *sighs*

You know, when we were little, we asked our dad to take us to atuk’s house every school holiday. He was too busy to even notice that he had actually made the relationship between my sisters n i with my grandpa was drifting apart. As we grew older, he expected us to be close to atuk? The last time i remember, he didn’t want to balik kampong. For God’s sake, stop putting blame on us. Now that we’re taking sides, i mean we’re closer to tok mi, he’s just jealous. Gosh i just hate this feeling.Im sorry atuk, i wish, we could’ve a better relationship. I love you atuk.

Happy 21st Birthday Abdul Hadi a.k.a FORK

God gave a gift to the world when you were born—

a person who loves, who cares,

who sees a person’s need and fills it,

who encourages and lifts people up,

who spends energy on others

rather than himself,

someone who touches each life he enters,

and makes a difference in the world,

because ripples of kindness flow outward

as each person you have touched, touches others.

Your birthday deserves to be a national holiday,

because you are a special treasure

for all that you’ve done.

May the love you have shown to others

return to you, multiplied.

I wish you the happiest of birthdays,

and many, many more,

so that others have time to appreciate you

as much as I do.

Happy 21st Birthday Fork.. You're now LEGAL to do anything you like.. I'm sorry for everything that I've done over the last 3 years, i hope this friendship can last forever. As much as I hate to say this, You're one of the most AMAZING person I've ever met. And a great friend too. Happy birthday again, May Allah bless you and fulfill all your dreams. Many happy returns! Hope You're having a BLAST!

Kutukan atau Gurauan?

Aku masih tak faham..
Tak faham dan takkan pernah faham..
Aku terjumpa sesuatu sebenarnya..
Dan membuatkan aku rasa yang seseorang itu tak mungkin berubah..
Kalau dah busuk hati tu, busuk la jugak..
Satu kesalahn boleh terus buat jadi seseorang tu hipokrit...
Aku dah mula rasa bengang dan sakit hati...
Tak nampak nilai2 murni dalam diri dah..
Hakikatnya, di mata orang, aku lah yang jahat..
Jadi, cukup lah usaha aku selama ni..
Aku penat dan aku Jelak

Drama...

Dalam hidup ni, tak semua yang kita nak, kita akan dapat.

Tak semua yang orang harap kita akan jadi, kita akan jadi.

Sebagai seorang manusia yang hina dan lemah, aku tak perfect.

Kalau korang rasa korang tak perfect, aku lebih la tak perfect. Sekarang ni, aku happy sangat bila tengok smua orang dah berbaik2. Btul orang slalu ckp, everything happens for a reason. Maybe apa yang terjadi kat kami semalam, akan lebih buat kitorang jadi rapat.

Yang dengan sorang lagi tu, aku tak tau la, i just hope things will end very soon. Aku dah tak nak gadoh2, lagipon dia orang yg paling rapat ngan aku selama ni. Dia sempat sakit sebelum ni and aku risau gila, tp there’s nothing i can do. I just hope things will go back to normal.

Semester ni aku rasa, banyak gila drama, drama dalam idup aku sendiri, drama kat kehidupan sekeliling aku. Mmg dramatic gila la. Mula2, smua ok, n start nye pasal satu silap je. And aku mengaku mmg benda tu salah aku.

9^th of May, satu tarikh yang aku rasa amat bermakna dlm idup aku. Serious aku rasa dihargai sangat2, Cuma yang aku kesal, aku tak dpt berhadapan dengan masalah. Aku mengaku aku orang yang selalu lari dari masalah. But that’s just the way i handle things. Aku takut kalau aku ada kat situ, entah apa yang akan jadi. Aku tak blh control emotion aku. Tu kelemahan aku, so the best way is for me to isolate myself. Aku bukan keras kepala, tp dari kecik mmg aku mcm tu.

Beberapa orang naik atas utk pujuk aku, aku hargai sgt2, and sampai satu point, aku sempat menitiskan air mata. Drama kan? Gila lah. ada message2 yg buat aku sedih gila, rasa serbasalah, rasa aku ni jahat gile, n mcm2 lagi. Aku cuma tunggu dia dtg kat aku. Aku taknak dia mintak maaf, Cuma nak things go back to the way it was.

Mungkin aku terlalu fikirkan sgt benda2 ni kebelakangan ni, bukan setakat semalam. Tiba2, bila aku dpt pressure, tu yang terus burst out of nowhere.

Aku mintak maaf sangat kat pihak2 tertentu. Sorry aku terhalau n tertolak keluar dr bilik, sorry aku tertengking, sorry sorry sorry...

Dengan ini, aku ambil risiko utk dedahkan apa yg aku rasa, and aku ada satu pesanan utk kawan baik aku..

..... aku mintak maaf dari hujung rambut sampai hujung kaki, and semua2 kesalahan dan pergaduhan ni dtg dari diri aku sendiri. Aku tau sukar utk kau maafkan aku, tapi ini je yang termampu aku buat. Aku dah cuba buat beberapa cara, tp mungkin kau belum ready nak maafkan aku. Aku hargai persahabatan kita and aku nak kau tahu, sampai bila2 pon kau akan tetap jadi bestfriend. Biarpon kau takkan maafkan aku, and idup kau tak ptut jd kosong, ni smua salah aku, aku nak kau tau, kau masih ada aku....

Sorry YuFoo 2009.. im doing the best that i can to be a good person. But i failed to do so..

Fork,Pejan,Malin,Peling,Gatut,Buffle,Kubiey,Ayul,Acat,

Kabe,Bunggu,Cage, All part one, and to all levelmates..

aku mintak maaf sangat2..

Tomok!! Duh~

The arrival

8tv budgeeetttttt

TOMOK!

winner is on your right!

Ladies Nite..
We present you our famous Dj Rekha Lecka,
ceywah.. poyo2 je..
i didnt plan to go at first.. tp rekha insisted and aku pon ajak la kawan2 aku..
or so called my juniors yg katanya, mereka sanggup ke bulan bersamaku..
hahahaha yo i yo je.. tgk2 all of them cancelled.. mcm c**ai kan?
i decided to ajak my second sister. Raisa Dora..It actually turned out to be a fine night.
it feels good coming back home feeling fresh because i just took a sip and didnt feel like drinking..
Rasanya sebab dah tua la kot.
As soon as we parked the car, boleh tak tetiba ade police bwak laju gile n stopped right behind our car. I was like "F**K!!"
Aku dah la belum renew license, n dia keluar terus mintak ic and license.
tanak cuak plak aku kan? Dah di soal siasat, (kaki aku menggeletar ye), taknak pulak aku fikir yg aku dh takkan dpt bawak kereta,
down kejap ah, pastu bila dia nampak je yg aku ni pon anak polis, dia tnya bapak aku kerja kat mana and stuff like that.
Last2 dia kata the next time dia tahan, aku kena tangkap. It was quite terrifying gak la. Bukan aku bwat salah pon, like im a pusher ke ape, tp the feeling of insecure that i might not get to drive car for 2 or 3 more years..
In Indonesia, diorang ni digelar Poldur..
Needless to say what does it mean la kan.. Kang tak pasal2 kena banned keluar Malaysia.
Siapa tak sayang Malaysia oii...
Sampai je kat atas.....

BAM!! BAM!!
Although I hate to to tell this in front of her, but i gotta admit aku mengagumi beliau. Dia buat apa yang dia suka and dia berjaya dalam apa yang dia suka..
Dia dikagumi, disanjungi not just orang2 kat Malaysia, but as well as the tourists.
Aku bukan bangga sebab dia ni kakak aku, tapi aku tumpang bangga sebab dia ni actually proved people wrong..
Orang yg pernah dengki ngan dia, yang tak suka, yang badmouth dia, sekarang semua two face..
You're like my Idol Rekha and thanks for all the arguments. It wasnt just an argument, you made me think. As much as I hate people criticising me, i consider what they said.
Tp kalau tak betul, tak betul la kan..
anyways, these are few pics i took at the party..
till then, xoxo

Loneliness...
It comes when I feel my life is fun enough.
It comes when I thought my life is just doing fine.

It comes when my friends are talking about their love lives.
It comes when I realised how envy I am looking at my friends who has partner to share their days with.

It puzzles me how bad I can be. Am I that bad? Will I ever make a good partner? Girls can be really choosy sometimes or should I say, I’m the one who is choosy.

I can’t help the feeling of being alone. So lame and feels like a loser. They say when the time comes, you’ll eventually find one but not for me though. I’ve waited long enough and suddenly what seems to me is me being paranoid not having anybody for the rest of my life.

I know I can always depend on my family, but can’t I just get a life partner that can share stories before bed and what I have been doing the whole day?
It hurts so much when in fact i’ve been living my life with loneliness. Somehow, I thank God because loneliness taught me a lot about life.

You can’t really depend on a person because someday, they’ll leave you whether you like it or not. My friend loneliness, taught me that and sometimes loneliness can be a really good friend offering the shoulder for me to cry on.

What seems to me that in each of everyone’s life, loneliness would try to get in your way to be your friend. It surely will because I don’t believe that no one has never felt the feeling of loneliness.

How i appreciate loneliness is how you gonna thank me one day for sharing this with you.
salute to loneliness..

WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER!

Cats

I love cats since the first time I laid my eyes on these creatures.
Let me share something with you, when I was four, I killed this four-legged creature.
I ran down on this creature with a 4 wheels bicycle and I was laughing like it was some kind of a joke.
Later that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about this black-cute-naive little kitten because it didn’t do any harm but trying to get attentions.
Come to think about it, how can I be so mean and killed an innocent creature which was just trying to be fed and wanting me to keep him as a pet?
From that moment, i pledged to myself that I won’t hurt these creatures but help them go through their lives.
The least I could do is feeding the strays whenever i see them.
When i was about 7 or 8, We had 2 cats and their name were BOYOT and BABY.
Boyot was a very cute and fluffy cat. He just knows how to tackle us and we just couldn’t say no to his face. I wish i could show you his picture, but he was gone before we can take the pictures.
Baby on the other hand was a very active cat. However, he had this one skill that I won’t forget. He’d jump and trying to get our attentions whenever we passed by. I guess he was my favourite one because Boyot was my sister’s favourite.
When these two were gone, we couldn’t replace them with a new one. Not even ONE. But one day, my dad came back with a six-fingers-siamese-stray cat. She was named Lucky because we thought she would bring us luck. She produced many little kittens and i named them after characters in Lion King from Mufasa, to Scar, Sarabi, and the cubs, Simba and Nala, Kiara and Covur and many others.
Few months later, my dad was promoted and we were transferred to Muar, and the saddest part was we couldn’t bring them all. Lucky stayed because she was gone. We couldn’t find her, and my dad only wanted Kiara to come along. There in Muar, Kiara produced from generation to generation.
I just couldn’t remember the name anymore.






Currently, there are two cats that I really love so much. One is Kitty or his real name is Ryan Rigoberto (my little sister named him)
and one more is Creamy or Muhammad Kimi (hahahaha). They’re wonderful and i just love these cats. Kitty has a love-shaped on its body and creamy is a Persian who really knows how to tackle a person. He would be scared the first time he sees you but he’ll be the best cat if you know how to break the ice.
I met one more cat which i fell in love right away when i heard about him. He’s blue-eyes and he’s deaf (Dont worry BOBO, we’re almost the same). Though he’s my junior’s (Satek) pet, but i believe i would see him more often from today onwards. InsyaAllah.