Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The isolation

i guess being a hero doesnt always stay that way..
rescuing one of the juniors really make me feel like i have done sumthin.. (at least)
3 am, i was suffocating n hell i couldnt breathe. felt like shit though..
dah lama sial tak sakit n i felt like dying for God sake. repent was the only thing on my mind..
went to the loo for about two times. stomach was all empty. threw it all out without leaving anything inside. felt the bitter urgghhh n it hurts so much.
woke up early, continued sleeping. woke up again, slept again, Saring made me eat the panadol n i havent been eating the whole day. Stomach was singing but the throat went nagging doesnt want anything to go thru it.
later that night, they took me to the clinic, it was so packed that we decided to go to hospital Alor Gajah. Pakguard plak tak kasi, stress betul laaaa... went back to the clinic, checked the temperature, and mine was 39.1 degree celcius. Doctor Sapura said that i should be dripped n no need to worry with the empty stomach because the water consists of sugar n vitamin n bla bla bla. that was my first time doing it, so i took my palm to cover my mouth. the nurse was laughing a bit n started saying things like "its ok, sikit je ni" i was embarassed.. OGD..
few hours later, we were sent to the rumah tamu. Peta and I reached there at 3 sumthin n we slept right away. When i woke up the next morning, i thought its 5 or 6 pm... my batt was flat and obviously i didnt know what time was it.. Damn it was only 10 am!!!!!!!!!!
Mcm bodo je kan. Quite an experience la.. Penat kot lepas tido tido, dulu i have always wanted to be sick not be able to go to class, but to feel the sickness i went thru recently, its better to go to class than stay in the room couldnt do anything. Helpless, Useless... ntah la..
Maybe this is a test from Allah for me to stay grateful. always be grateful for what he has given.
Oh, i was isolated for 16 hours at rumah tamu.. i repeat, ISOLATED... not QUARANTINED...
(according to Dato Mizan) *wink wink*

Monday, July 6, 2009

New dreams unfulfilled...

These are my latest dreams. I wish i can get these as soon as mama strikes the project.
i wish God would help us go through this hard times. Please no more hardship.
I am learning now from what i've learned last time. n it does feel good sumtimes to live in poverty but in the end, u get all the money in the world. That will only make u appreciate money.
Like how u gonna spend them and not just buy things that r necessary. Sharing with others so that u'll get more.
i've planned everything over the last semester break on what im gonna do with the money (if i get, INSYAALLAH)
Am praying hard now, i know it sounds unfair because this is the only time i seek for HIS help, but at least, i think of HIM and ask from one n only LORD i trust.
Hopefully fortune awaits me..

Friday, July 3, 2009

not just M.J, but also to F.H and A.H

on the right standing is abg hafiz....

baru2 ni aku start la pindah rumah, barang2 sgt la byk... altogether, ada la dalam 9 tan barang2 kitorg..
bayang la, first day pakai lorry 2 tan, tu dah buat 2 trip, so dah 4 tan, then dah maghrib, yg heran nye tempat tinggal baru aku tu, tak blh angkut barang after 6 pm, aku pon tak fhm kenapa.
so terpaksa ditangguh. the next day, ahad pon tak blh pindah, so kitorg lepak je kat rumah n went to hillpark as well, amik barang2 yg mana muat utk dlm kereta. penat weyh, aku smpai takde time nak lepak ngan bestfriends aku yg baru balik from aussie, rasanya kali ni paling sikit aku lepak ngan diorg.. *sighs* sorry guys! monday, 29th of June, we were told that abg hafiz just passed away. masa aku ikut zz balik kuantan, sempat la jumpa dia, tu pon dia dh tenat. he couldnt speak but he asked me
"tak skolah ke?"
aku mcm terharu sbb dia still ingat aku. sbb according to my grandma, dia dah tak kenal org, n whenever my grandma ckp ngan dia pon, he'll push my grandma n cakap,
"sape awok?"
well.. kesian tok mi, when i came the other day, she was crying. fyi, abg hafiz sakit sbb last time, he used to take drugs.. didnt blame him because everyone makes a mistake. ok, few years back, abg faiz (abg hafiz's elder brother) passed away too. same case, drugs..
bodoh punye dadah.. then kitorg pon bertolak la balik kuantan isnin pagi tu, unfortunately, kitorang tak sempat tgk dia for the last time. the minute we arrived, my grandma told us that dia dah selamat dikebumikan. takpe lah, janji selamat, n senang pengurusan jenazah dia, alhamdulillah takde sebarang kesulitan. Kitorang pon masuk bilik dia, n looked around. Semua jadi sebak n sayu je sbb, dlm bilik dia, penuh dengan gmbar2 kitorang. Tribute to everyone who was once important to him including my mom n my siblings. Abg hafiz dulu pernah jadi adik beradik kitorang because my mom pernah jaga dia dr baby smpai la umur 4 tahun kot.. n sebelum dia meninggal, dia bgtau tok mi
"kesian mama gee nak pindah, atek takde pon nak tolong.. atek sayang sangat kat mama gee"
mak aku terus menangis tak tahan sebak didada.. hurm.. dah settle semua including tahlil, kitorg pon balik k.L sbb the next day tu nak pindah2 barang jugak. Mmg penat tak pyah cakap la kan.
i was driving 30 km je, pastu suruh kak long drive the rest. kesian kak long pon ngantuk.
then few days later, yesterday morning, the father (Uncle Hassan) passed away too. katanya sblm dia pergi, dia peluk jacket abg hafiz n according to the son in law, ade this one night, dia mengigau, saying
"hafiz, tunggu papa, papa nak ikut hafiz"
sedih kan kisah hidup diorg? all men in the family died already...
Sekarang yg tinggal, my auntie, (my mom's eldest sister), kak fara n kak azera...
kesian sangat kat diorg.. dah la my auntie is going through her hard times with her husband.. oh lupa nak ckp, my auntie dah divorced dgn my late uncle tu decades ago...
Al-Fatihah to Faizal Hafiz n Abu Hussan..