Saturday, December 6, 2008

moments in life

For some reasons, life is a tough task given to u..
Life is hard.. With or without money..
With or without love..
But i'm thankful that in a way, i get to feel what life is all about.
The beauty, the joy, the pain and the obstacles.I may be young but i learnt a lot in life.At the age of four...At the age of not knowing anything.... a kid should've a great childhood moments but i didnt get the chance to feel that. That was my pain moment...I was craving for mother's love and attention...I was lack of communication with people that i loved...Dad wasnt at home most of the time..I was raised by a maid who was abusive... physically n emotionally.My life starts at the age of 11.... That was my rebellious moment..I started smoking and i started doing other stupid stuff which i think shouldnt be written here But at that particular time, I was too busy to even notice that probably i've chosen the wrong path in my life. That was my lost moment...At the age of 14, i was forced to move to a cowboy town.. Muar Johore, a place i will cherish for eternity but hated the thought of my first step there. I had a beautiful life in Kuantan but my father ruined it all.. That was my hatred moment... I started to live a normal life there until i found few of true friends that was always there when i needed someone the most. Yes, we had arguments, quarrels and all... but FRIENDS.. how can u befriend with someone who smiles all the time? Dont you think they're faking it? That was my learning moment.. Learning to be someone who ppl will look up to. But i ended up being a trash at the age of 16.Discovered some shits about my life. A stain that will never go away. A stain that will always be in my life. That was it. That was my down moment.. I moved on and started a new life at the age of 18. Reunite again with my beloved friends from Kuantan, Misha, Zz, Eim, Syasya, Gemok, Ab, and few others (sorry if i didnt mention ur names). That was "the moment when i thought life is perfect".. Had fun everyday, and fun night life although my family is not in a stable condition. Along the way to a perfect life (i thought), met few other people.. Cia, Carliff,Aiman, Siti Hafiz, Ili, Shan, and few other people... they light up my dark days when zz n misha went different ways to pursue their studies. I was jobless, pocketless and homeless. Mama was in Jakarta struggling to find money for us in Malaysia. Sadly, things didnt turn out as we expected. That was my unlucky moment. I got into Uitm Malacca and couldnt accept the fact that i had to say goodbye again to those few people who i really care about because i know things will be different when im no longer with them. Yes, what i thought was right. We went different ways. A year later, I was in second semester, I met few people who i called FRIENDS because i really thought they deserve to carry the name. Fork, Madeng, Pejan, Malin, Segat.... semester by semester, new comers came along the way.. Gatut, Nani, Buffle... You know what? That was my happiest moment... They didnt shower me with money, they didnt spoil me with buying expensive gifts, but they taught me what life is all about. one of them even cried because of me wanting me to change and i really appreciate someone who cried for me. That really shows something. Along the way with my college FRIENDS, i never neglected my other half who happened to be Zz, Misha, Farra Bj, Farah, K.Diera, Eim, Syasya, and not to forget, Mama, K.Long, K.Na, K.Tutty and Rina Avisha.. Tok Mi too..I know i spent more times with college friends, but i wanted to learn stuff in college which cannot be learnt with u guys in K.L.. im really sorry.Now at the age of 21 (2008).. I just knew i still have something missing in my life. Life seems to be unperfect and life seems to be dull still... This is my confused moment... I dont know what I'm looking for in life. I must be lying if i say i dont know anything about what i want in my life, but to be exact, there are pieces that are still missing and hoping that someone, or situation, or moments would fill the pieces in me... This is my never-ending story... This is a story of my life. not the entire but half of the moments i wont forget...


raisadora said...

sometimes we just need to be grateful instead of regretful... Hmmm hard to say but life can be a bitch sometimes... What to do... To stay positive at all time u need to stay focus on your study in order to achieve your dreams but never give up on hope... I almost did but it brought me nowhere... Be strong God is great... God bless u!

rysoul said...

u're d best..
u n ur words of wisdom..
love u