The isolation

i guess being a hero doesnt always stay that way..
rescuing one of the juniors really make me feel like i have done sumthin.. (at least)
3 am, i was suffocating n hell i couldnt breathe. felt like shit though..
dah lama sial tak sakit n i felt like dying for God sake. repent was the only thing on my mind..
*sighs*
went to the loo for about two times. stomach was all empty. threw it all out without leaving anything inside. felt the bitter urgghhh n it hurts so much.
woke up early, continued sleeping. woke up again, slept again, Saring made me eat the panadol n i havent been eating the whole day. Stomach was singing but the throat went nagging doesnt want anything to go thru it.
later that night, they took me to the clinic, it was so packed that we decided to go to hospital Alor Gajah. Pakguard plak tak kasi, stress betul laaaa... went back to the clinic, checked the temperature, and mine was 39.1 degree celcius. Doctor Sapura said that i should be dripped n no need to worry with the empty stomach because the water consists of sugar n vitamin n bla bla bla. that was my first time doing it, so i took my palm to cover my mouth. the nurse was laughing a bit n started saying things like "its ok, sikit je ni" i was embarassed.. OGD..
few hours later, we were sent to the rumah tamu. Peta and I reached there at 3 sumthin n we slept right away. When i woke up the next morning, i thought its 5 or 6 pm... my batt was flat and obviously i didnt know what time was it.. Damn it was only 10 am!!!!!!!!!!
Mcm bodo je kan. Quite an experience la.. Penat kot lepas tido tido, dulu i have always wanted to be sick not be able to go to class, but to feel the sickness i went thru recently, its better to go to class than stay in the room couldnt do anything. Helpless, Useless... ntah la..
Maybe this is a test from Allah for me to stay grateful. always be grateful for what he has given.
Oh, i was isolated for 16 hours at rumah tamu.. i repeat, ISOLATED... not QUARANTINED...
(according to Dato Mizan) *wink wink*

New dreams unfulfilled...

These are my latest dreams. I wish i can get these as soon as mama strikes the project.
i wish God would help us go through this hard times. Please no more hardship.
I am learning now from what i've learned last time. n it does feel good sumtimes to live in poverty but in the end, u get all the money in the world. That will only make u appreciate money.
Like how u gonna spend them and not just buy things that r necessary. Sharing with others so that u'll get more.
i've planned everything over the last semester break on what im gonna do with the money (if i get, INSYAALLAH)
Am praying hard now, i know it sounds unfair because this is the only time i seek for HIS help, but at least, i think of HIM and ask from one n only LORD i trust.
Hopefully fortune awaits me..

not just M.J, but also to F.H and A.H

on the right standing is abg hafiz....

baru2 ni aku start la pindah rumah, barang2 sgt la byk... altogether, ada la dalam 9 tan barang2 kitorg..
bayang la, first day pakai lorry 2 tan, tu dah buat 2 trip, so dah 4 tan, then dah maghrib, yg heran nye tempat tinggal baru aku tu, tak blh angkut barang after 6 pm, aku pon tak fhm kenapa.
so terpaksa ditangguh. the next day, ahad pon tak blh pindah, so kitorg lepak je kat rumah n went to hillpark as well, amik barang2 yg mana muat utk dlm kereta. penat weyh, aku smpai takde time nak lepak ngan bestfriends aku yg baru balik from aussie, rasanya kali ni paling sikit aku lepak ngan diorg.. *sighs* sorry guys! monday, 29th of June, we were told that abg hafiz just passed away. masa aku ikut zz balik kuantan, sempat la jumpa dia, tu pon dia dh tenat. he couldnt speak but he asked me
"tak skolah ke?"
aku mcm terharu sbb dia still ingat aku. sbb according to my grandma, dia dah tak kenal org, n whenever my grandma ckp ngan dia pon, he'll push my grandma n cakap,
"sape awok?"
well.. kesian tok mi, when i came the other day, she was crying. fyi, abg hafiz sakit sbb last time, he used to take drugs.. didnt blame him because everyone makes a mistake. ok, few years back, abg faiz (abg hafiz's elder brother) passed away too. same case, drugs..
bodoh punye dadah.. then kitorg pon bertolak la balik kuantan isnin pagi tu, unfortunately, kitorang tak sempat tgk dia for the last time. the minute we arrived, my grandma told us that dia dah selamat dikebumikan. takpe lah, janji selamat, n senang pengurusan jenazah dia, alhamdulillah takde sebarang kesulitan. Kitorang pon masuk bilik dia, n looked around. Semua jadi sebak n sayu je sbb, dlm bilik dia, penuh dengan gmbar2 kitorang. Tribute to everyone who was once important to him including my mom n my siblings. Abg hafiz dulu pernah jadi adik beradik kitorang because my mom pernah jaga dia dr baby smpai la umur 4 tahun kot.. n sebelum dia meninggal, dia bgtau tok mi
"kesian mama gee nak pindah, atek takde pon nak tolong.. atek sayang sangat kat mama gee"
mak aku terus menangis tak tahan sebak didada.. hurm.. dah settle semua including tahlil, kitorg pon balik k.L sbb the next day tu nak pindah2 barang jugak. Mmg penat tak pyah cakap la kan.
i was driving 30 km je, pastu suruh kak long drive the rest. kesian kak long pon ngantuk.
then few days later, yesterday morning, the father (Uncle Hassan) passed away too. katanya sblm dia pergi, dia peluk jacket abg hafiz n according to the son in law, ade this one night, dia mengigau, saying
"hafiz, tunggu papa, papa nak ikut hafiz"
sedih kan kisah hidup diorg? all men in the family died already...
Sekarang yg tinggal, my auntie, (my mom's eldest sister), kak fara n kak azera...
kesian sangat kat diorg.. dah la my auntie is going through her hard times with her husband.. oh lupa nak ckp, my auntie dah divorced dgn my late uncle tu decades ago...
Al-Fatihah to Faizal Hafiz n Abu Hussan..

Goodbye happiness.. Hello sadness

A tough year for me.
We have to move out from the house by the end of this month.
*Sighs* i just hate the owner n i wish i could kill those two stuck up animals.
Well, where do we stay? What kind of place would we live in?
I cannot imagine a life out of this area, Im just so used to this area n I love this house.
This is obviously a test from God but its too heavy for me n my family.
How long do we have to go through this? I thought this year would be our year since we've been living this kind of life since few years back. But everything is just the same. well, to add the injury, it is indeed getting worst. No improvement, no nada!
Sometimes i wonder if this is the life that im gonna have to go thru till the end of my last breath.
I'm so tired n I'm starting to give up in life at such a young age.
Complaining is not the way to solve things i know, but i just need a place to tell just about how i feel right now.
.Pray for me.

Hackett London

Hackett this season brings out many designs to the community. Can be worn by youngsters and as well as the elders. Check out these few designs that actually captured me for a mo. I was stunned but not really surprised. It's Hackett..






This one can be worn for casual outing. It has different colours so that u can mix n match with ur other attire.










Tips : It doesnt mean if u're wearing a blue tshirt, u have to get everything blue. it depends on the outfit n play with colours.











Hackett provides more than just casual n formal attire. They also have swim wear for men who knows more than just Speedo. LOL!











This is my favourite! all the t-shirt is fantastic. Hackett provides cool tshirt to the fashionista who has taste for fashion. It's all bout the money!










This one can be worn for parties and of course to certain functions or cocktail party.









They also have style advisor. Have u ever wondered what should u wear for an occasion? suitable attire for the evening? Hackett gives u tips for that too. This one is for Formal Dinners.
As everyday dressing appears to be getting less and less formal it is nice to get dressed up once in a while. It is difficult to look sharper than in a neat fitting Dinner Jacket. I tend to stick to the classic single-button, peak lapelled variety, as favoured by the style icons of the 60s. Either a pleated front or Marcella dress-shirt should do the job, finished off with a black silk bow tie.self tied of course.





When it comes to weddings, I am often asked about how to spruce up the traditional look. After some thought I always come back to the same conclusion; our forefathers had it spot on. A sleek black morning coat: pastel coloured linen waistcoat; pressed black and grey striped trousers; highly polished black Oxfords; woven silk tie and a crisp white poplin shirt, fresh out of the packaging. The only thing you need to worry about is what flower to put in your button-hole.
(2nd day at the hotel?? perhaps)




Check out and click HERE

I went to watch this movie a few days back..
keluar 11th of june, tp aku tak tau plak usually it will come out one day before..
we watched the first showla kiranya..
i went to watch with Satek n Naim.
It was as funny as hell, disgusting as hell, n shocking as hell.
No wonder its called Drag Me To HELL..
One of the scene i couldnt forget is when the girl was trying to pack her things, tetiba je that old lady appeared. Naim was shouting out loud. kelakar gile dowh, i was laughing my lungs out.
Hahahahaha... Naim, naim..
Satek tutup mata, aku ada gak la terkejut n terjentat, tp not as bad as them. Kaki masing2 naik atas, ahahahahaha..
Well done Sam Raimi, it is one of the most interesting movie...
out of 5, i give 4 for this horror, humour movie

we might LOSE you B4-4-3, but we're trying our BEST now

I was told by my mom today that the owner of our apartment is asking for the money already..
we have a week left to find the money.. if not, we're so going to be thrown n jadi beggars.. wah malu, takut, sedih, smua ada.. 2 months tak byar sewa rumah..
smua sbb keparat yg tipu mak aku.. my mom kena tipu 20k plus dari org kastam.. dh la she was the middle person, so automatically, she has to ganti the money to the first party while the third party, senang2 je enjoy dgn duit tu. *sighs*
kesian mama, i never thought she would have to go through all these. nasib la cuti ni im spending most of my time with her. keluar pon blh kira ngan jari.
well, a few people offered their money such as amri a.k.a piller, how thoughtful, and then my cousin, but i think i wont accept piller's help, i mean, no one would ever do this to a new friend, but he's just there. i'm so thankful that God sent a friend like him. this is the type of friend that will always be on my list. tq piller, but i cant accept because, i dont want to ruin the friendship because of money.
tah bila la my mom would get the payment, n i dont think if he gives me the money, when would i be available to return back the money. so, i just wont take the risk to lose a friend like him.
Anyhoo, a few others just ignore at times like this.. *sighs*
its beyond expectation. im puzzled, n wordless.
to Zz, thanks for calling all the way from aussie n letting me know that u're a family. u're willing to help n i appreciate that a lot. when mama hit the project, i promise u we'll double the payment.
well, what a life.. challenges n obstacles, we're almost give up..
at least, that's what i thought.
sorry for not writing all this while, many things happened n i just dont have the mood to write.. till then